I’m currently in the process of moving house.

It’s something I’ve chosen and something I’m genuinely excited about. But alongside the excitement, there has also been stress, uncertainty, lots of decisions and moments of wondering whether I’ve made the right choice.

It’s reminded me that change can be difficult, even when it’s change that we want.

We often talk about stress as though it only comes from negative experiences. But big positive changes can be stressful too.

Moving house is a good example. There are finances to think about, decisions to make, other people involved and plenty of things that are outside of our control. Even when we’re looking forward to the end result, the process can feel overwhelming.

The same can be true of many of life’s transitions. Starting a new job, entering a new relationship, becoming a parent, ending a relationship, moving to a new area or simply deciding that you want something different from life can all bring a mixture of emotions.

You Can Feel Two Things at Once

One thing I think we sometimes forget is that emotions don't have to make sense or fit neatly into one category.

You can be excited and anxious. Relieved and sad. Hopeful and overwhelmed. Certain about a decision while still having moments of doubt.

We can put pressure on ourselves to feel happy about positive changes. If we’ve chosen something, we might think we shouldn't be struggling with it.

But having difficult feelings doesn't necessarily mean we've made the wrong decision.

Sometimes it simply means we're going through something unfamiliar.

We Don't Always Get Certainty

Big changes often involve a period of not knowing exactly what is going to happen.

And uncertainty can be uncomfortable.

We might find ourselves constantly thinking ahead, trying to anticipate problems or looking for reassurance that everything will work out.

But sometimes there is only so much we can control.

It can be helpful to bring our attention back to the things we can influence rather than spending all our energy trying to predict everything that might happen.

Instead of asking, “How am I going to manage all of this?”, we might ask:

“What do I need to deal with today?”

Sometimes we don't need to have the whole journey figured out. We just need to take the next step.

Give Yourself Time

We can also underestimate how long it takes to adjust to change.

A new home might not immediately feel like home. A new job might take time to feel familiar. A new chapter might initially feel strange before it begins to feel normal.

We don't have to feel completely settled straight away.

And perhaps most importantly, struggling with change doesn't mean we don't want it.

Sometimes we can be moving towards something we genuinely want while still finding the journey difficult.

So if you're going through a period of change, try to give yourself some space to acknowledge whatever you're feeling, rather than judging yourself for not feeling the way you think you should.

You’re allowed to be excited and overwhelmed.

You’re allowed to have doubts.

You’re allowed to miss what you're leaving behind while looking forward to what comes next.

Change can be both difficult and positive. Sometimes, it can be both at the same time.